Athithi Devo Bhava!-ALIENS FROM EARTH

Lizards,cockroaches,mosquitoes,flies,frogs,centipedes,rats n bandicoots are referred to as uninvited guests....i would like add one more category to this-SUDDEN RELATIVES!!
We can use all out,baygon,hit,odomos,broomsticks,rubber slippers n bare hands to annihilate the above mentioned insects/pests....but sadly even poison in the food/extreme discourtesy won't persuade these SUDDEN RELATIVES to make a quick exit!!
Relatives who are hardly among your well-wishers list or scheme of activities or last resort dining table conversation topics....but suddenly stick out like a sore thumb at odd times of the year/day without feeling awkward to foil your elaborately made family plans are known as SUDDEN RELATIVES(SR)!!If movie,picnic,restaurant n pizza aspirations of the family are iron filings,then SR are magnets......If you are planning for an evenin with your family even in the deepest layer of sub-conscious mind(inception proof)...the whole universe will conspire to bring a SR atleast fifteen minutes before you start out!!
Following are some of the tendencies of chronic SR:
1)CATCH PHRASES:
They hurl these catch phrases at the youngsters of the family to develop a plastic vibe to war a hostile environment:"You are looking completely different from what I saw you last!"(it means you look awful!),"How many girl/boy friends do you have?"(they expect a NO,to start a cute denial spree),"Which movie did you see last?(This ones very dangerous..they expect you to take them to this movie!) and the most common one-"What plans for the future?(means,hope you don't have a future)
2)KITCHEN ENCUMBRANCE:
Authoritative trespassing into the kitchen and gargantuan consumption of snacks n beverages reserved for the younger ones in the name of tasting!Sometimes they even try to cook new dishes which make us repent the existance of our tongue..to add fuel to the fire,they keep serving more ignoring facial gymnastics n misunderstand tolerance to be relishment!!
3)ACCELARATED CONSUMPTION:
The monthly grocery rapidly decreases in demonic proportions,thanks to their war/tsunami/earthquake victim/refugee like desperate consumption pattern.Not to forget the numerous STD/ISD calls they make.This period leave a huge dent financially
4)SIGHT SEEING:
The next fundamental right,they feel is to be taken around to all tourist attractions/neighbourhood parks the whole day.This happens to be a tedious process as they come to compare these tourist spots with their city's and not to admire.Then they shop for famous things from our city from various high-end shops and disappear near the billing counter only to reappear in the parkin lot expressing displeasure over us spending for them!
5)LONG TERM OCCUPANCY:
What starts as a permission to visit the toilet in the bedroom,develops to careful placing of luggage in the bedroom shelf,which blossoms to unprecedented occupancy/usage of the bed(pillows,bedsheets n soft-toys included),this period metamorphosises from day to week to fortnight to month to quarter to half year to annum.This continues till they become eligible to feature in our ration card were they sort of feel guilty.
6)PACK UP:
Finally they realise the magnitude of burden on us and spot official commitments as reason for their 'premature exit' and pack food n other edibles(enough for monthly consumption by a village).Sometimes even showpieces from the house go missing along with them.
7)DEPARTURE:
We are compulsarily made to book tickets and take them to the terminus/railway stn/airport and send them off with aquafina bottles.This part actually makes us blush as we rejoice in the back of our mind abt the end of apocalypse only to be shortlived when the domestic dynamites say-"WE WILL BE BACK NEXT YR!"