Valentine's predicament

Him: What's special about today?
Her:When's the  Kamal Hasan movie releasing?
Him:April 2nd
Her:When did ginger* come home?
*Ginger-his pet cat
Him: May 18th. See we could do this chronological rhetoric all day long.
Her to herself:Is he so naive about today's sanctity. Where does the child like awareness of men evaporate when no one's home!
Her: Ok pass. Got to go
Him: Unless your birthday is coming for the second time this year, I don't see a hallow around today.
Him to Himself: Now, how many liposuctions will my bank account go through?
Her:Valentine's Day duffer.It is omnipresent across social media upto an extent that porn sites have Valentine's promotional offer.
Him to Himself:damage control mode!
Him: Since when did you start watching porn?
Her:The only place you think from is between your legs. Is that the thing you've grasped from whatever I said?
Him to Himself: Atleast I think from some where,unlike some who function like festivities reminder app!
Her: Did I just hear something?
Him:Yes. Happy Valentine's Day
Her to Herself: Had to excavate it out of you
Him:Ya,like a stone out of the kidney
Her;Fuck...how did you do that.Telepathic?
Him: That's called an educated guess.My cat doesn't ask me for food,but I just know when it's hungry.
Her:Are you likening me to your cat?
Him:No.The only thing you both share in common is gender.
Him to Himself:Unlike you, my cat understands mating calls without prompting and is more sensitive.
Her: Even my parents wished me today.
Him:That's a weird family you've got.
Her to Herself:Only time his romance is on auto pilot is when he's got a boner.
Him:What can I do to make up for my screw up?
Her:I'll let you know in a while.For the time being,just dress up in red and send a selfie.Btw,have a bath.
Cupid overlooking them:Phew!That was barely romantic. Men and women used to romance better than that in times when they were clad in leaves and incest was prevalent. What has WhatsApp and Archies done to them. If she was going for his wallet, he was going for her pants on  a day widely pimped as epitomizing romance.No wonder my master health check-up results aren't flattering!
                                                     END OF CONVERSATION

He was having a banter about the predictability of romance with me after blogging about the generic excerpts from a hypothetical conversation between young things these days, when he got a call.
His pink cheeks turned pale white, ridicule making way for grimace.His explanations starting and stopping at a monosyllabic level,not growing beyond the stutters.The call got cut after a few minutes.
"All okay?",I asked
"No, she has read the blog.Much worse, I had almost forgotten my date",he quivered
"Hahaha.Men these days.",I said to myself, when my phone rang with her name.

And the tears never stopped.