PROLOGUE
Today would mostly start with a live relay of a
septuagenarian within the safe confines of a bullet proof cabinet, delivering a
speech which would make a 4th Grade student’s essay on “Dream
Nation” look more plausible. Next we excavate those translucent white kurtas (subtle
metaphor for patriotism it seems) from below the debris of Van
Heusens & Peter Englands in our cupboard, only to flaunt in the Flag hoisting
ceremony at our alma maters. The journey to our alma maters is characterized by
banters of desperate RJs hurling patriotic trivia & songs at us from every
radio station.
Then the flag hoisting with a spirited rendition of the
National anthem ends on a sweet note, courtesy Caramilk(a provision store
relic). Then we have over enthusiastic alumni deliver articulated lectures
about why culture & folklore are more important than android phones &
GDPs. Thus begins our patriotic rigmarole on the august day.
FREE ARE WE AS INDIANS?!
Lets start with freedom in movies for a start, If the
movie's font is arabic or the protaganist has a beard without a
moustache....the movie's anti-islam-ban it!...if the protagonist utters any
word which bears remote similarity to a political figure’s moniker or is shown
contesting election(even if in college)-the movie's politically incorrect-ban
it! When our political mechanism has broken down huge stars with the ease of a
fragile twig, what chance do we lesser mortals even stand in our Constitution
backed freedom of expression!
Art isn’t far from the long arm of our Political guardian
angels either- If a famous painter depicts a Goddess in a semi nude state, we
ensure he is rusticated from the land. Ironically though, ancient architecture
in most of the temples depicts Gods & Goddesses in similar manner.
If an author dares to take on a religious issue in his
fictional book in a gutsy manner, he instantly is made an apostle of Satan in
public domain & his citizenship is severed like bad friendship.
With the freedom of expression of a common man becoming
thinner at a more alarming rate than the ozone layer, If someone mentions a
political proper noun in bad light in social network or even a inter cubicle
conversation, he can be rest assured of a rendezvous with Arnab Goswami or
brief internship behind the bars.
INDEPENDENT ARE WE AS INDIANS?!
Lets talk about how independent we are at a grass root level
taking into account very mundane things for instance, we Indians are
genetically programmed to look upto people with good spoken English abilities
with scant regard to their intelligence…like an unwise customer picking up a
branded vessel with a hole in the bottom. We look down upon someone
mispronouncing an English name like a dung beetle, only to enjoy Geoff
Boycott’s carnage of Indian names like connoisseurs.
More often than not when we talk about movies in public
space, we flaunt names of unheard of Egyptian/Spanish/Korean/Russian movies
with the pride of a newly married woman gossiping about her loan funded honeymoon.
Notwithstanding this we celebrate 100 Years of Indian Cinema, where we make a
tribute movie helmed by reputed auteurs, only to be diagnosed as a rip-off!
Despite being in a tropical country, we dress up like
Louis Philippe mannequins to make our sweat glands work overtime. And if the
wardrobe buffoonery wasn’t enough, we assign anglicized alter egos to burn
midnight oil for our living, so that westerners learn to use their home
appliances.
UNITED ARE WE AS INDIANS?
The only time we are genuinely united together as a
nation is when Sachin’s batting or India is in a good position in the second
innings of a match. Another occasion we display unity in diversity is when the
news about a politician’s multicrore scam hogs limelight or Rahul Gandhi tries
to make a political statement, this is when everyone suddenly seem so
opinionated & awakened. Barring this flickering display of patriotism on
these stray occasions, every state seems to be an isolated mini nation with its
own agenda. While public holidays & bribery seem to be a common thread
linking the entire nation, the legality of prostitution changes from state to
state.
EPILOGUE:
As on date our pan Indian feeling seems to be a shallow
concept that is characterized by either pilgrimages to places ripe with
religious heritage or sin-dissolving dips in holy waters that transport corpses
or art of living workshops where saffron clad urban babas teach us life
altering things like importance of eating bananas . Not to forget our uniform
liking to ayurvedic massage spas or failed attempts to smuggle pickles past terminals in foreign soil or our
favourite national past time of talking about the gutter, our political system
has become.
Being patriotic doesn’t just end with Ben Kingsley’s
Gandhi on playlist or standing up when the anthem is played, it’s a mental
state where we accept the nation with its share of flaws without making a
laundry list of lacunae…like a mother’s unconditional love for her son. Till
then August 15th would just be another cosmetic public holiday when pizza
joints gives us buy 1 get 1 offer!
