FRIENDSLIP

X-"We both keep in touch on a regular basis and more importantly respect each other's opinions",
Y-"Sounds good,so can I presume you guys are good friends?"
X-"on FB,yeah"
Y-"!@#$%%%&"

Friendship is the most littered word ever!Myth talks about eternal friendship between warriors of opposite camps,person taking the arrow shot at his friend on his bosom, men perishing along with their pals avoiding the lure to switch camps. Celluloid lore talks about a rich guy going out of the way to help his poor bud,protagonist sacrificing the girl of his dream for his friend,donating  assorted organs to replace his mate from the jaws of death,a wreck-machine who takes on the system to avenge his bud’s death and even wastrels who disable themselves physically to enable their friend’s friend elope with his girl and all other possible exaggerated portrayals of  ‘eternity ’ of friendship the human-mind can take!

But in the current scenario,true friendship’s become hypothetical and use of one’s resources towards his friend’s need has become viability based.This doesn’t mean true friendship doesn’t exist at all,it does like honest politicians & trim cops.And the indifferent few who dole out words like "friendship" & "soulmates" are often taken along in the same breadth as a vintage car or an excavated fossil.

 MISTAKEN PALS

This is the most common, yet unnoticed category.  This includes situation created friends who came into our lives through the conspiracy of fate & coincidence like our kindergarten/school/tuition mates or even the guy next door who used to be an accomplice during our balancing wheel days.  One common thing between all these people is that it could have been them or anybody else or in other words, the friendship came out of constraint of being in the same nursery/same class or the same neighbourhood and not out of emotional compatibility or mutual liking to make it special.  These places were well regulated/safely protected environments controlled by teachers & subjects, unlike in adulthood which imparts hard-hitting lesson in the rear ,at a point when the mind expects love,affection & understands betrayal.  These people were acquaintances mistaken to be “childhood buddies” famously.  Some childhood friends do get closer with age,but most remain namesake in the finite estate of nostalgia.

PARASITE PALS

These are people who expect things gladly, till we expect back.  The sole purpose of their name featuring in our contacts is to avoid their calls.  You can expect them in your life most certainly when yout're downhill,figuratively mostly and literally at times.  On a bad day when we are behind our schedule or have a pressing commitment  to complete, these men manifest out of nowhere in unexpected public places only to hone our patience by talking about those non-existent good old days with well-conceived imaginary flashbacks and worse, expect strong reciprocation from us back.

This is the time when our mind sinks into the sea of regret wondering  how harder can the face frown to convey annoyance to the speaker who is clueless about the art of body language.Finally when Satan's long innings ends at our pitch,with this guy receding away ,the hatred towards our ears reduces only to abruptly end by his-“We should catch up again!”

VIRTUAL PALS

At a time when the internet is no more a luxury earmarked for the higher-middle group and android phones have become more accessible than groceries,these people trespass into our lives like a virus through firewall.These are low-maintenance relations running on social-networking apps like whatsapp, facebook,viber,skype,
In a place like facebook, the number of friends one has could be a really deceiving aspect apart from the spirit of bonhomie kept alive by photo-bombing and tagging.This friendship, in a nutshell is as strong as one's internet plan.

VICE PALS

As the name suggests, this relation is born out of the common urge to fag,booze or drugs in a common place at a uniform time by like minded men,who got the concept of population control a little wrong. Like an automobile which just wouldn't move an inch without the fuel intake, their bromance blossoms symbiotically with every bout.  This escapist pursuit for happiness in alcohol remains as futile as the sheep’s plight for solace in the butcher’s knife.In short,a relationship which doesn't last beyond the hangover.

PANICK PALS

They basically use us as a dumpyard to unload their problems. They remain in a self imposed exile from us during their happy times and when the last drop of merry gets over,they get their chronologically accumulated woes to us, to rightfully seek our “honest opinions” in the name of friendship.The easy way to get rid of them is ask them for a top-up.

PICNIC PALS   

Notwithstanding the ongoing shallow relation,like cat in a dog-show they barge into our life with systematically etched,well-budgeted reunions/retreats/movie plans/birthday parties(not theirs).Basically, they seek your company for improving the headcount or filling the budgetary deficit in their purposeful getaways.

 PAY PALS

This relation is as strong as one's bank balance.They come with the deposits and leave with the withdrawals.They're generally found in high end places with filthy rich people take them to be real,like a naive flower about the honey bee.

Not that I'm cynical about the idea of friendship,but just that in some cases friendship’s eternity is a bit overrated.Everyone does have true friends who really care about them & remain constant notwithstanding the changes in fortune.
Just that,it's good to have one good friend than a dozen meaningless ones, for as many zeroes as there maybe in the background, we need an one in the forefront to lend value to the number.