Relatively Human

While at an uptown restaurant we are the personifications of our appetite at the end of a famished day, while our order makes it's grand entrance,ensconced in an utensil built to flatter it, we are all our hungry eyes could behold, when the carefully preserved aroma escapes to tantalize, we become aware about the ability of our neglected nostrils to be seduced.
Finally, when we consume our dinner, the fleshy muscular organ we slog hard to appease all day long, the most judgmental part of the human anatomy, the wagging testimony to the most intricate of architectures,with every square inch of it demarcated to react to a specific taste vetoes the chef's culinary expertise;  we know the role the tongue's tip plays in making our lives tasteful or not.

.
I've just deconstructed the fine-dining process and the synchronous sway it holds us in, despite appearing inconsequentially palatal. Same is the case when in a concert, where all our personality is contained from either sides of the brain, with the dichotomy of the conscious and sub-conscious self or during salacious indulgences, when our intellectual extension  becomes subservient to the primal one; while the body as a whole becomes indifference in trance to the genitals.


We take pride every day, every moment in immersing neck-deep into sub-plots, overstaying in some, constructing designations and jargons around them to feel less narcissistic and more flattered; then end up calling life complicated.
So we have words like "connoisseur" to cushion over-indulgent men,"workaholic" to crown shallow-employed beings and phrases like "make love" to sugarcoat passionate intercourse.

A machine is a composition of heterogeneous parts with individual mechanisms that work synchronously towards a homogeneous objective, the machine's functional purpose.  A bike with an over competent engine or a wheel with an independent agenda would be an anomaly, not a facet which would go on to define the bike's purpose altogether.
Whereas we as a race, take pride in being subservient to take a specific organ's ability or need,hone a skill out of it, make the skill utilitarian and bask in the perks usurped in the process.

 The other organs notwithstanding their independent aspirations become thankless reindeer to the sleigh, the flagship organ navigates. Vestigial by priority & designated by anatomy, it takes a mutiny in the form of an injury or an infection to remind one about their existence; the rare occasions when they get pampered with handpicked medicines and priority.

So, nepotism to one's vocal cord makes him a singer,devotion to his cerebrum, an intellectual or an artist; while obsession to the cavity between his legs: a pervert or a pornstar. An athlete or an bodybuilder's anatomy should be the most egalitarian scenario though, with the body bordering on megalomania and excessive flattery.

So unlike machines, birds and animals, this ability to extrapolate uni-dimensional prowess and in the process become different persons with each iteration makes us the most intriguing creatures among the created. While the former kind are homogeneous by objective with  a laid out blueprint to nullify individuality, our objectives and blueprints are contingent to constant evolution with every passing experience attained, every acquaintance made and hitherto insurmounted peaks breached.

Maybe this ability to lose plots passionately and make plots out of sub-plots with every passing indulgence constitutes our self-declared sixth sense, our alpha clout over animals and birds.Some call it the mind's eye, the ability to see beyond the vicinity of the present continuous province into the heart of the future continuous pastures making planning for an unborn era a possibility beyond mechanical existence in the present realm; with  roads, monuments, canals, dams, surgical procedures, doctrines, philosophies standing testimony to this gift.

This gift, like any other gift puts us at an advantage over the other species without the gift, our ivory tower to call the shot for ourselves and our beta designated peer species. To utilize the vantage point of our altitude in a fiduciary way within the covenants of restrain and empathy or squander the same for vanity is up to us.
If we decide to tow the latter path, we've always got our alpha adversaries in calamities,epidemics and comets to give us a reality check. For,all it takes is a mad elephant or a stray tiger to re-evaluate our alpha status.

The Neceesary Evil

How relevant is the light at the end,
without the winding tunnel inundated with darkness

If not the Devil for nemesis,
How relevant is the God's prowess.

Apathy instigates one to love,
With a marooned man's plight for a ferry.

All it takes is a clinical drought to famish,
To appreciate nature's benevolence,when she cries earthwards.

At the end of an endeavor,is born an outcome
At the dichotomy of an outcome, is born success or failure.

Their romance was a platonic anomaly,
Comfortably uncomfortable together; yet apart

They blossomed in the disapproval of each other;
Yet came alive in figurative unison,
Everytime someone quipped,"Opposites Attract"

Image Source: onhech.blogspot.com

.

The August 15th patriots

Today would mostly start with a live relay of a septuagenarian within the safe confines of a bullet proof cabinet, delivering a speech which would make a 4^th Grade student’s essay on “Dream Nation” look more plausible. Next we excavate those translucent white kurtas (subtle metaphor for patriotism it seems) from below the debris   of Van Heusens & Peter Englands in our cupboard, only to flaunt in the Flag hoisting ceremony at our alma maters. The journey to our alma maters is characterized by banters of desperate RJs hurling patriotic trivia & songs at us from every radio station.

Then the flag hoisting with a spirited rendition of the National anthem ends on a sweet note, courtesy Caramilk(a provision store relic). Then we have over enthusiastic alumni deliver articulated lectures about why culture & folklore are more important than android phones & GDPs. Thus begins our patriotic rigmarole on the august day.

FREE ARE WE AS INDIANS?!

Lets start with freedom in movies for a start, If the movie's font is arabic or the protaganist has a beard without a moustache....the movie's anti-islam-ban it!...if the protagonist utters any word which bears remote similarity to a political figure’s moniker or is shown contesting election(even if in college)-the movie's politically incorrect-ban it! When our political mechanism has broken down huge stars with the ease of a fragile twig, what chance do we lesser mortals even stand in our Constitution backed freedom of expression!

Art isn’t far from the long arm of our Political guardian angels either- If a famous painter depicts a Goddess in a semi nude state, we ensure he is rusticated from the land. Ironically though, ancient architecture in most of the temples depicts Gods & Goddesses in similar manner.

If an author dares to take on a religious issue in his fictional book in a gutsy manner, he instantly is made an apostle of Satan in public domain & his citizenship is severed like bad friendship.

With the freedom of expression of a common man becoming thinner at a more alarming rate than the ozone layer, If someone mentions a political proper noun in bad light in social network or even a inter cubicle conversation, he can be rest assured of a rendezvous with Arnab Goswami or brief internship behind the bars.

INDEPENDENT ARE WE AS INDIANS?!

Lets talk about how independent we are at a grass root level taking into account very mundane things for instance, we Indians are genetically programmed to look upto people with good spoken English abilities with scant regard to their intelligence…like an unwise customer picking up a branded vessel with a hole in the bottom. We look down upon someone mispronouncing an English name like a dung beetle, only to enjoy Geoff Boycott’s carnage of Indian names like connoisseurs.

More often than not when we talk about movies in public space, we flaunt names of unheard of Egyptian/Spanish/Korean/Russian movies with the pride of a newly married woman gossiping about her loan funded honeymoon. Notwithstanding this we celebrate 100 Years of Indian Cinema, where we make a tribute movie helmed by reputed auteurs, only to be diagnosed as a rip-off!

Despite being in a tropical country, we dress up like Louis Philippe mannequins to make our sweat glands work overtime. And if the wardrobe buffoonery wasn’t enough, we assign anglicized alter egos to burn midnight oil for our living, so that westerners learn to use their home appliances.

UNITED ARE WE AS INDIANS?

The only time we are genuinely united together as a nation is when Sachin’s batting or India is in a good position in the second innings of a match. Another occasion we display unity in diversity is when the news about a politician’s multicrore scam hogs limelight or Rahul Gandhi tries to make a political statement, this is when everyone suddenly seem so opinionated & awakened. Barring this flickering display of patriotism on these stray occasions, every state seems to be an isolated mini nation with its own agenda. While public holidays & bribery seem to be a common thread linking the entire nation, the legality of prostitution changes from state to state.

As on date our pan Indian feeling seems to be a shallow concept that is characterized by either pilgrimages to places ripe with religious heritage or sin-dissolving dips in holy waters that transport corpses or art of living workshops where saffron clad urban babas teach us life altering things like importance of eating bananas . Not to forget our uniform liking to ayurvedic massage spas or failed attempts to smuggle pickles  past terminals in foreign soil or our favourite national past time of talking about the gutter, our political system has become.

Being patriotic doesn’t just end with Ben Kingsley’s Gandhi on playlist or standing up when the anthem is played, it’s a mental state where we accept the nation with its share of flaws without making a laundry list of lacunae…like a mother’s unconditional love for her son. Till then August 15^th would just be another cosmetic public holiday when pizza joints gives us buy 1 get 1 offer!

FRIENDSLIP

X-"We both keep in touch on a regular basis and more importantly respect each other's opinions",
Y-"Sounds good,so can I presume you guys are good friends?"
X-"on FB,yeah"
Y-"!@#$%%%&"

Friendship is the most littered word ever!Myth talks about eternal friendship between warriors of opposite camps,person taking the arrow shot at his friend on his bosom, men perishing along with their pals avoiding the lure to switch camps. Celluloid lore talks about a rich guy going out of the way to help his poor bud,protagonist sacrificing the girl of his dream for his friend,donating  assorted organs to replace his mate from the jaws of death,a wreck-machine who takes on the system to avenge his bud’s death and even wastrels who disable themselves physically to enable their friend’s friend elope with his girl and all other possible exaggerated portrayals of  ‘eternity ’ of friendship the human-mind can take!

But in the current scenario,true friendship’s become hypothetical and use of one’s resources towards his friend’s need has become viability based.This doesn’t mean true friendship doesn’t exist at all,it does like honest politicians & trim cops.And the indifferent few who dole out words like "friendship" & "soulmates" are often taken along in the same breadth as a vintage car or an excavated fossil.

 MISTAKEN PALS

This is the most common, yet unnoticed category.  This includes situation created friends who came into our lives through the conspiracy of fate & coincidence like our kindergarten/school/tuition mates or even the guy next door who used to be an accomplice during our balancing wheel days.  One common thing between all these people is that it could have been them or anybody else or in other words, the friendship came out of constraint of being in the same nursery/same class or the same neighbourhood and not out of emotional compatibility or mutual liking to make it special.  These places were well regulated/safely protected environments controlled by teachers & subjects, unlike in adulthood which imparts hard-hitting lesson in the rear ,at a point when the mind expects love,affection & understands betrayal.  These people were acquaintances mistaken to be “childhood buddies” famously.  Some childhood friends do get closer with age,but most remain namesake in the finite estate of nostalgia.

PARASITE PALS

These are people who expect things gladly, till we expect back.  The sole purpose of their name featuring in our contacts is to avoid their calls.  You can expect them in your life most certainly when yout're downhill,figuratively mostly and literally at times.  On a bad day when we are behind our schedule or have a pressing commitment  to complete, these men manifest out of nowhere in unexpected public places only to hone our patience by talking about those non-existent good old days with well-conceived imaginary flashbacks and worse, expect strong reciprocation from us back.

This is the time when our mind sinks into the sea of regret wondering  how harder can the face frown to convey annoyance to the speaker who is clueless about the art of body language.Finally when Satan's long innings ends at our pitch,with this guy receding away ,the hatred towards our ears reduces only to abruptly end by his-“We should catch up again!”

VIRTUAL PALS

At a time when the internet is no more a luxury earmarked for the higher-middle group and android phones have become more accessible than groceries,these people trespass into our lives like a virus through firewall.These are low-maintenance relations running on social-networking apps like whatsapp, facebook,viber,skype,
In a place like facebook, the number of friends one has could be a really deceiving aspect apart from the spirit of bonhomie kept alive by photo-bombing and tagging.This friendship, in a nutshell is as strong as one's internet plan.

VICE PALS

As the name suggests, this relation is born out of the common urge to fag,booze or drugs in a common place at a uniform time by like minded men,who got the concept of population control a little wrong. Like an automobile which just wouldn't move an inch without the fuel intake, their bromance blossoms symbiotically with every bout.  This escapist pursuit for happiness in alcohol remains as futile as the sheep’s plight for solace in the butcher’s knife.In short,a relationship which doesn't last beyond the hangover.

PANICK PALS

They basically use us as a dumpyard to unload their problems. They remain in a self imposed exile from us during their happy times and when the last drop of merry gets over,they get their chronologically accumulated woes to us, to rightfully seek our “honest opinions” in the name of friendship.The easy way to get rid of them is ask them for a top-up.

PICNIC PALS   

Notwithstanding the ongoing shallow relation,like cat in a dog-show they barge into our life with systematically etched,well-budgeted reunions/retreats/movie plans/birthday parties(not theirs).Basically, they seek your company for improving the headcount or filling the budgetary deficit in their purposeful getaways.

 PAY PALS

This relation is as strong as one's bank balance.They come with the deposits and leave with the withdrawals.They're generally found in high end places with filthy rich people take them to be real,like a naive flower about the honey bee.

Not that I'm cynical about the idea of friendship,but just that in some cases friendship’s eternity is a bit overrated.Everyone does have true friends who really care about them & remain constant notwithstanding the changes in fortune.
Just that,it's good to have one good friend than a dozen meaningless ones, for as many zeroes as there maybe in the background, we need an one in the forefront to lend value to the number.